So I've been seeing a reiki healer since about August. The word just popped into my head one day and I felt compelled to check it out and then seek out a healer. I initially approached it as a skeptic, as a Buddhist atheist. I was pretty sure nothing would happen after my first session. When I woke up the next morning I had amazing energy and awareness and everything seemed a bit brighter. So I kept going to sessions and each has been a little different.
Well a few weeks ago I went to a session and she told me she had moved some of the energy in a different direction than how she had been working. She said I would have some epiphanies and, still a skeptic, I kind of shrugged it off like "Yeah, sure." A few days later I started having some epiphanies, relatively minor, personal stuff. But as the days went on the epiphanies became more profound, eventually about how the universe worked and the nature of God. I had also been having premonition feelings and thoughts I usually didn't realize until after they had come true, mostly about minor things.
After I told my reiki healer about my revelations she said she wanted to initiate me as reiki level one. Prior to that I had been experiencing a hot, tightness where my kidneys are where I usually experience anxiety and fear. It felt like part fear, but part excitement. I had only felt like that a few months prior to when I was supposed to go on an important trip and there was a fire in my apartment building that displaced me. At the time I thought it was just anxiety over the trip. Now that I felt that feeling again, I knew something significant was going to happen soon. That feeling continued and strengthened until she initiated me and I had some release (though I didn't feel it at the time).
The next day it went away. She had said I would feel a little off, maybe for a day, a week, or a month. I definitely fell off, but I also felt a little gloomy. I chalked it up to the shorter winter days because I usually get like this around this time of year. Then on Saturday I was sitting in my apartment, reading or watching something. Earlier that week I had been pondering about how much I had gone through this year and was wondering what the next big challenge for my spiritual growth would be. Then I thought that I hadn't experienced the death of someone real close to me. I thought about it a little, but mostly shrugged it off as a stray thought. That feeling came again later in the week, but I let it pass. Then the thought came again when I was sitting in my apartment and just waves of realization came that yes, someone close to me was going to die soon and it was going to be my mom. It came so strong, or at least I believed it so easily, that I just started crying like I hadn't in years. I'm close to my mom but we've had a rough history, particularly because she can be a difficult person. So a lot of fear and guilt is tied into it.
I just want to know if I could be perceiving certain signals or feelings in the wrong way or if this premonition could be really something else? Has this type of thing happened to others who are initiated? My reiki healer said there's no going back from this, but I'm not sure I want this power and responsibility.
Well a few weeks ago I went to a session and she told me she had moved some of the energy in a different direction than how she had been working. She said I would have some epiphanies and, still a skeptic, I kind of shrugged it off like "Yeah, sure." A few days later I started having some epiphanies, relatively minor, personal stuff. But as the days went on the epiphanies became more profound, eventually about how the universe worked and the nature of God. I had also been having premonition feelings and thoughts I usually didn't realize until after they had come true, mostly about minor things.
After I told my reiki healer about my revelations she said she wanted to initiate me as reiki level one. Prior to that I had been experiencing a hot, tightness where my kidneys are where I usually experience anxiety and fear. It felt like part fear, but part excitement. I had only felt like that a few months prior to when I was supposed to go on an important trip and there was a fire in my apartment building that displaced me. At the time I thought it was just anxiety over the trip. Now that I felt that feeling again, I knew something significant was going to happen soon. That feeling continued and strengthened until she initiated me and I had some release (though I didn't feel it at the time).
The next day it went away. She had said I would feel a little off, maybe for a day, a week, or a month. I definitely fell off, but I also felt a little gloomy. I chalked it up to the shorter winter days because I usually get like this around this time of year. Then on Saturday I was sitting in my apartment, reading or watching something. Earlier that week I had been pondering about how much I had gone through this year and was wondering what the next big challenge for my spiritual growth would be. Then I thought that I hadn't experienced the death of someone real close to me. I thought about it a little, but mostly shrugged it off as a stray thought. That feeling came again later in the week, but I let it pass. Then the thought came again when I was sitting in my apartment and just waves of realization came that yes, someone close to me was going to die soon and it was going to be my mom. It came so strong, or at least I believed it so easily, that I just started crying like I hadn't in years. I'm close to my mom but we've had a rough history, particularly because she can be a difficult person. So a lot of fear and guilt is tied into it.
I just want to know if I could be perceiving certain signals or feelings in the wrong way or if this premonition could be really something else? Has this type of thing happened to others who are initiated? My reiki healer said there's no going back from this, but I'm not sure I want this power and responsibility.
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